In family education, children must be afraid of a person, this sentence misled many families

2022-06-08 0 By

Many families, parents want to establish authority in front of their children, they strongly advocate: the child must be afraid of a person, a person who is good cop, a person who is bad cop, so as to control the child.Do you agree with this method?Let’s not analyze right and wrong, but let’s make a metaphor.We compare the parent-child relationship to a king and his people.Parents are Kings, children are people.If the king regards the people as his own and understands that his role is to lead and coordinate, he will respect the people, get along with them sincerely and see the needs of the people, then the people are “citizens” in this country. The king is worshipped by the people through his own behavior, and his authority is naturally established.If the king is superior, treats the people as “human”, uses his status above the people, insults, punishes the people for the slightest mistake, belittles the people to establish his authority, then the people are “untouchable” in such a country.Such Kings are unpopular and force people to fear and submit to themselves.When the people unite to rebel, the king’s end will come.Using this metaphor, we can reflect on our own education.Parental authority is not limited by cold rules of obedience, which only give the child a temporary appearance of obedience, until the stronger he becomes, the more fiercely he resists;True authority must be based on mutual respect.Children should have a fear of people, in essence is a wrong idea, parents respect children, children have dignity.If there’s a bad cop in the family, there’s always a bad cop.What about children? Docile in front of the black face, unruly in front of the white face.When children bring these two identities to school, they must be timid and insolent on the one hand.For a five-year-old child who wants to be held by his parents, the parents are very tired after a day’s work. Even though they are tired, the white-faced parents meet the needs of the child, and then complain constantly while holding the child.Blackface parents directly refused, thinking: I have been tired all day, you can walk, but also let the hug, can not get used to your bad habits.Neither approach satisfies the child.The right thing to do is for us to be honest and say to the child: I see you want to be hugged by your mother, that’s fine, but mother is tired today and wants to rest.Say so, let oneself body and mind be consistent, child also can understand.Maybe the kids will help you clean your feet.A child’s fear of someone in the family does not make the child more obedient, it only destroys the relationship between you and the child. Wise parents recognize the needs of the child and respect the child’s ideas.Wisdom does not have a diploma, but it can control our life more than a degree, especially our family life.Do you agree?